Sometimes, we carry an envisioned version of ourselves in our minds—an image shaped by expectations, goals, and the desire to be perceived a certain way. We hold ourselves to these standards not only to prove something to ourselves, but also to control how others may see us. Yet, in doing so, many of us end up feeling unhappy with who we are and where we are in life.
That dissatisfaction often shows up as a quiet discomfort: not feeling content with your current situation, feeling behind, or feeling disconnected from yourself. And when you pause to ask why, you may realize that the expectations you’re trying to meet aren’t fully your own. They may be influenced by society, family, social media, or the version of success you were taught to chase. This inner conflict can leave you feeling stuck—stuck in a life or mindset you don’t truly want—and even wondering, “I don’t even know what I want in life.”
I found myself in that space, and one simple thought came to me:
I just want to be me. I want to be more like me.
I want to do the things I genuinely want to be doing. I want to build a standard for the lifestyle I envision—not one rooted in comparison or pressure, but one that aligns with who I am and who I see myself becoming.
Recently, I came across a video where a girl said, “Maybe you don’t hate yourself. Maybe you don’t hate your life. Maybe you just hate your poor habits.” That statement stopped me in my tracks. It made me reflect deeply on the difference between what I say I want and what I’m actually doing every day.
And that’s when it clicked: I didn’t hate myself—I hated that my daily habits weren’t aligned with my deeper vision. Subconsciously, I knew the life I envisioned for myself didn’t match my current choices. That misalignment created frustration, restlessness, and disappointment.
So if you find yourself unhappy with your life or disconnected from yourself, pause and ask:
Are my habits and daily choices bringing me closer to me?
Are they aligned with my goals, dreams, aspirations, and core values?
And if you don’t know the answers yet—that’s okay too. Sometimes the first step isn’t changing everything, but reconnecting with yourself. Spend time alone. Step away from your phone. Take a break from social media and detox from the noise and false influences. Sit with yourself in the quiet.
Ask yourself what you love.
What makes you feel alive?
What makes you feel valued, important, and ‘ at peace?
Because becoming “more like you” isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about returning to who you already are and choosing habits that honor that truth.
I Am Alina: Living in Unpunctuated Grace 